Winter is around the Bend!

Fall in now in the air and I have finished another quarter at Rasmussen. I will be entering my final quarter in October and graduating this December. It is quickly coming to a close for me in college. I have been really successful at staying close to my goal with my grades and staying with at least on the Dean’s list. I am starting to put my resume out there, but being told that I am not what the company is looking for, unqualified or over qualified. This frustrates me to no end! I know I need to be patient and keep trying, but I really want to get out there and work and I need to for myself and family. I would like to actually put what I learned to use and have some fun in accounting. I know, sounds funny, I find accounting fun and interesting along with challenging at times. I have been out of the workforce for so long, it will be nice to go back.

At the home front things have changed some, Russell is now in preschool and he is loving it. He goes three days a week. He loves it and comes back really tired. Mason is growing like a weed and is almost surpassing Russell in height. Brandon even bought himself his first computer, a laptop. Everyone seems to be doing great. Laura even has a girlfriend now, Amy is engaged, Joyce is volunteering, and even Ed has plenty to do with his blacksmithing and his shop. It is funny how we all find the time to get together or get everyone to where they need to go, but we do.

Ed and I took the telescope out about a week ago and look up into the sky. I observed one star brighter than the other, what we say was Jupiter and all its moons! It was amazing and really beautiful! I had astronomy this past quarter, so I am a little into the universe.

With my last quarter approaching, I will have four classes instead of the usual three so that I can finish in December. At my graduation, I probably will be the only one there with a gang members. It will be grand! I would not have it any other way, they have all helped me achieve my goal one way or another. Family helps family!  One member especially, my husband Ed! He was always supportive in helping me all my classes and getting me to go to college. He is my shining knight! Thank you my love!

I will be back when my next quarter is over as a graduate of Rasmussen College with an AAS degree in financial and investigative accounting.

Hot Summer Plash

I am happy to say that last quarter ended with a bang! I got all A’s! I managed to do all my classes on-line without a hitch and will proceed thru the summer quarter on-line as well. The summer quarter starts on Monday the 6th and I have great classes. I will have Astronomy, Intro to Literature and Criminal Law and Procedure. Thank goodness I do not have any classes with accounting and Excel like last quarter! That was confusing and frustrating.

I have only this quarter and the fall quarter left, then I will graduate in December. I can hardly wait! I am kind of scared, but excited at the same time. I will actually have a degree! Then, the biggest thing will be to find a job. But thanks to the support of my husband and family, my dream of graduating college will soon be done!

My husband Ed, has been busy making a Japanese garden in our backyard. It is starting to look really good. He has made a pond and is in the process of making a waterfall. It is looking beautiful. It is great to see how the area looked from the start and to see what it looks like now. What a difference all ready.

Everyone is enjoying the summer, though it has been really humid here. I just wish it was in the 70’s with no humidity. It also would be great to have it really cool and night with some rain. But we have got this sticky weather that sucks.

All in all, things are good for all of us. I am blessed to have such a supportive family and a husband that is who he is. There is not anyone else like him in the world. I was lucky to find him.

Wish me luck for this next quarter, and hopefully my report for next time will be as good as this one. Until next time, love your family and be true to one another.

Starting Something New

I had a rough last quarter, never made the dean’s list. My GPA was only 3.26, but that really isn’t so bad? This quarter I will start taking all my classes on-line. I am really looking forward to that! It will save on gas money and I can never say I will not be able to miss classes. Things are going quite well, Ed is looking good as usual! That will be one advantage to being home to do work. Looking at him helps me think, not sure why, but it does! Weird, I know. I can not wait til I hear him do his blacksmithing in the backyard. That helps alot also! He makes the coolest stuff! Our youngest son Mason loves hanging around Ed’s shop when he is out their. Mason even has his own small anvil and hammer.

I am finding myself changing in what I read and what I really want in a career. The more time I spend in college and see what is out there going in the business community, it pushes me even more to reach my goals. I am finding that I am bored of the soap opera drama. I cannot believe I was so into at one point and time in my life. I am so excited to buy financial books and learn about company fraud and deterrence. I guess to be more than what I am. When I look back at things my strength and encouragement foundation all comes from my husband Ed.

So, I am heading into this spring quarter with a positive attitude with my goals for my graduation in December in mind. Knowing that soon I will be the accounting executive that I see in my dreams, no longer a dream, but a reality!

Another long haul finished and spring is in the air!

Today ended the final stage of Winter Quarter! It seemed to me that this quarter would never end! They chose to put my favorite class ( Fraud Examination) and my least favorite; which is also my weakest ( Economics), in the same quarter. I have not received my grades, but I know at least I passed all the classes. I am just happy it is done!  Now I can enjoy two weeks off without studying? But yet I do have my Statistics for Dummies, yes I do. It is a course I will have to take when I go for my bachelors degree. My husband Ed always believed that this class was important for my accounting degree. So I do not know if studying is ever done!

Tomorrow I am attempting to quite smoking, look out family! I bought carrots to munch on to help me out. I have been building up in my mind for quitting. I thought I would wait until all my finals were over with.

With spring in the air I am getting the urge to go walking again. That is one reason besides the expense of cigarettes now, why I am quitting. I am not sure though if we will have much of a garden this year, not much of a yard. Maybe Ed and I can build boxes and make a garden? Joyce and I would love to have flower boxes sitting outside our windows of our offices. Spring also brought Mason’s second birthday! He has grown so much! I see so much of his father in him. He is a handful and full of spunk! You must always keep your eye on him-always full on energy and his mind is always going. Be careful, you never no which way either!

My adventures are still ongoing with college,  I am scheduled for graduation in December of this year for my associates degree. If all goes well, I will start will my bachelors degree in January 2010. I will post again when I get my final grades, I may need to vent!

Thanks for listening and my love to all!

Christmas Survival

Now that Christmas has finally passed and so has the last quarter of school, I finally have some time to write another post. So much as happened. The kids did get what they wanted for christmas, Mike ( my brother) came with his whiney boyfriend for the day. And we all sat and had fun. We had turkey and ham and all the food we could eat.

I survived another quarter of college, though with two A’s and a B! Did not make the dean’s list! I was really disappointed, I felt I really did work hard. I had all A’s at mid-term, not sure what went wrong from there. I have been thinking about after getting my AS degree to further on to get my BS degree. Everyone I have talked with said it would be a great idea. I am scared to death looking at all the courses in would involve, plus it would be all online through the college in Florida. My husband says I can do it, he has too much faith in me. Doing this online will be alot of work and time, research ( that is what I was told by my liason at the college). They did estimate it will take me maybe another year or so to finish. It is suppose to be a four year program, I would finish it in less than that. But it would take more time away from the family and I already hear that from some that when I am studying that I never have time for them and that makes me feel guilty. I really want to do well in college. Getting B’s really hurts! I have faced many challenges in my life and I can do this! I have the strength and support of my husband Ed. He is always right there every step of the way encouraging me. Without him being by my side I am not sure I would have made it this far! You would never know how good it feels to finally have someone who actually listens and helps you with something that you have craved and loved your whole life and takes an interest in it, even if he doesn’t actually understand it. I love him everyday for it! It is because of him my dream will become real, I will become an accountant!

During my vacation I also talked with my mother and somehow she got in touch with my uncle. I was given his email address. I have not had contact with him in over 20 years. I emailed him and soon the phone was ringing. I cried! It was good to hear his and my aunt’s voice again. I soon was able to get my cousin Tracy’s address and email also. Barry and Joyce ( uncle and aunt) have two children Troy and Tracy. Tracy and I always since childhood wrote each other weekly, she was my bestfriend. She knows all my secrets, all of them! We lost contact after my oldest Brandon was born. That was because my ex-husband was an asshole and abusive and made it impossible for me to have any contact with anyone outside of our immediate family. So it was a blessing now that I have found them again! I am so happy about that!

Well, the year is almost over with I will be a year older on the 5th of January. Almost pushing 40! Sure am looking it! We will see where this year will take us. Hope you have a safe New Years!

Yours as always

Sheila Karn

Life is never Dull

It has been quite a while since my last post. I have been quite busy with college and with car issues. I have debating transferring colleges right now, but decided against that decision. One of the main reasons was that at the other college they wanted me to purchase a camera for a online class for accounting and during that class I could not have my husband in the same room as me, nor could I have anyone interupt me at all or it would affect my grade. Bullshit! I need my husband around when I do my work at home. Funny he helps me think. I get stuck on a problem, I can turn around and look at his form and stare at him and boom it generally hits me! Don’t ask me why, but it helps. Having him around is a plus for me. I say boo to that college!

Then we went down to one vehicle, which in our family doesn’t work well because it is hudge ( 13 people ) so we scraped together $1,000 and bought a vehicle from a jerk who said he would stand by his car. Which ne did not do. Now we are stuck with a car that does not work and is sitting in our driveway and we must take him to court, which will cost even more money that we dont have. My husband did try calling him, but the guy of course is a weasel and never answered just called the cops and said he was being harassed. The cops called us and said that we cannot call him anymore. But they did say after we get a judgement against him that they would be more than happy to enforce the judgement upon him! So that sucks! But never fear, God is always watching!

I use to own a house a few years ago with my ex husband. I received a letter in the mail from a title company. They said they owed me money. My ex never signed and cashed a check. Well I got on that right away! Ed and I went and got a car, this time from a dealership! So far so good! It was not enought for a warranty, but at least it runs and is in good shape and it was their loaner car, so the mechanics must have been kept up. Don’t get me wrong, we are still going to take the other car and place it up his ass! You don’t mess with the Karn’s!

With school I have been really busy with thesises and trying to do my classes all at home. And doing my intermediate accounting II at home without help is extremely hard. I can do it, but it is frustrating, I do not have the help the students get with the teacher and lectures, and they still cannot complete the assignments on time, but I still manage to get them in on the due date. I am proud of myself that I can do this, but it is hard to do sometimes.

It frustrates me when Ed sometimes complains that I do not spend time with him because I am always doing my school work. This is our future, my grades will be looked at for the type of job that I will get and will show the type of worker that I will be and the work that I will perform. I want to do my best! I do not know if he understands that. The best, they only hire the best!

I am frustrated with home life sometimes also, people not using their thinking skills and being lazy. I feel that things would not get done unless I do them. My husband says it is because I expect them to be done right away, but that is not true. I wait half a day even and it will not be touched or they walk around the stuff that need to be done. It is as if they do not care. Computers and what they want to do is more important than taking care of the needs of the family. Their needs and wants come first. Sometimes I feel there are only two adults in this house. Sometimes even one. I at times feel alone and am afraid to even talk to my husband about how I feel because things will never change. His attitude is they are who they are and you need to except that and work around them. Which is not true, everyone needs to help and try. Which some people only try when it suits them and then they want to be rewarded. Sometimes I want to give up and I don’t like being here. If it wasn’t for the fact I love Ed and the kids, I would not be here. The kids do most of the cleaning, which I do not agree with. Laura and I do all of the laundry. I just do not know at times what to feel. I get frustrated at how my husband deals with this like what do you want me to do? This is not what was said to me when I was moving into the house. His other wife always uses the excuse now that she is not in her right mind everyday so that she gets out of things. When in fact I know she is fine!

There I vented. I am not sure if it helped but I got it out. It will not changed, there will always be different rules for everyone else from my husband that I will not agree with, but I have a voice and I am me and that will not change ever!

Well I have work to do, thanks for the ears!

Frustration and anger

I have not posted in a while been really busy with life at home and school. I haven’t been able to get to college lately because we are down to one car and money like everything else is a huge issue. I am seriously thinking about switching colleges, whether or not I can handle the bigger college I might just have to suck it down and just do it. It will save us money on gas and maybe even have more money at the end of the quarter for all of us. This quarter is frustrating me with one of my classes because my intro to communications teacher is really failing in communicating with me which is really ironic. And I am trying to communicate better with my husband which no matter how I try it always back fires on me. I guess the harder I try the worse I get, I go about everything wrong and do the wrong things. Mostly I have the foot in mouth syndrome where I believe I do not think before I speak. I do not mean to hurt his feelings, but sometimes I feel under attack and my first instinct from many years back is to go into protective mode and fire back. It might take many years to get out of that pattern. But I love him. He is really great! He is a very patient man. I am angry at myself for letting my children live so long with their biological father ( not with whom they call dad now or who we live with now) he was very abusive. I guess I failed them. They have so many issues, I thought at the time I was doing what was right, now I am being told I was wrong and it is now hurting them in the long run. Looking back, I do see some things that I could have done differently. But I cannot go back and change that, I can only change the present. They are wonderful kids I would give and have given my life for them. Even though I did my best at the time, I am not alone, Ed will be by my side and guide me even at times when I feel I don’t need guidance. That’s one thing I love about him. He is always there and near no matter what, for me and for the children. How many of you can say that about a man who didn’t even father the children? He loves them as if they were his own. I am also very angry and my ex, John, I don’t understand, and I may never know why he got the way he did. What makes people such assholes? Does it make people feel better about themselves? Not sure. All I know is I can never get him out of my life, I have been divorced from him for over 2 years and still I have to deal with his careless bills that never got paid and court appearances because he won’t just face up to his issues. He is just a punk ass! Sometimes I wish I could actually see him and tell him how I feel, but really I don’t think I could, I would end up in jail or prison. I am so angry at him still for everything he has put my family through. That is why I am glad I have Ed.

Well I guess I am done venting for now, thanks for listening, til later.

She

Just an update

I have had college classes now for two weeks, already I can say my one class that sucks is Intro to Communications. The instructor thinks were are all still in high school. Other than that I guess they are alright except that I am no longer a morning person. Maybe I would be if my youngest son would let me sleep! My husband (Ed) and I are trying to move him to his own bed now and it is an adjustment in progress. Not too soon for us though. It is crapping our style.

The new house is starting to look a lot like home, and we love it. The atmosphere here seems so much different from the other house, it is amazing! The only downer is we don’t have a yard, which we all really miss. We had such a beautiful garden this past spring! We also moved to a new town and I am not really sure that I will really like it here, it is a bigger city than I wanted to live in.

I am finding out that I am wanting to buy more accounting books to read, and it scares me. I usually get horror books like Steven King. I really want to know more and do good once I get out in the reall world. I want to make my family proud, especially my husband. I love him dearly, I hope he really knows that!

Hello world!

We are now into our new home, things are not going as I want them to be. The washer leaks, the dishwasher and stove doesn’t work, and I feel that at times I am alone at moving. Family members tell me that it is all me and that I need to come down a few steps. I go to college, have five of my own children, manage the househould with the help of my husband, do most of the housework with some help. Do the grocery shopping and the other shopping. Is it too much to ask that other that live here take some pride and pitch in and care about the house and themselves? At times I feel a huge weight on my shoulders and I don’t want it! I get frustrated and lash out. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. But with a huge family it does get frustrating.

Well, I start my fall quarter on Monday and I am not sure how this quarter will go, did not do well with this last quarter. I made the B honor roll, usually I make the dean’s list. I am proud of myself though, I did complete 1 year of college with the move and with a hectic life. That in all is an achievement!

Until next time, take care!